I HAVE NOTHING.....

Latest ‘‘Breathe’’ commssion offering bowl…

Its time for me to send out a monthly blog post and I have nothing to say at all. I have nothing in me. It’s a weird feeling. I want to be cheery and all full of Spring and sunshine. I seem to have gone and lost my cheery disposition for the time being.

As a mental health advocate I feel that I have to tell you that my dad died in January. Its very sad. He had advanced Dementia. Sometimes I sit for a while and I can’t move. I’m not even thinking. Just sitting. Processing. Grief is a strange phenomenon. I have lots to support me so don’t worry I am being looked after and I tried grief yoga…yes that is a thing.

Below is a series of acitvities that I have been doing to support my mental health in my grief.

Taking walks in nature. Walking is good for your cardio vascular health. Green colours are good for the heart chakra. Plenty of green in nature. Keeping your heart open when you’re grieving is important so it doesn’t close down and get all angry without release and have all the nasty stuff inside. So let it out. I find that when I walk its easier to talk and that I laugh more.

Walking on the beach bare foot looking for sea glass is a new hobby of mine. The sea and the coast is good for us as the noise of the waves have a calming effect on the body and mind, allowing both to drop into the parasympathetic nervous system. Better known as ‘rest and digest’. The sound of the ocean supports us to release dopamine and serotonin in our bodies- those beautiful, happy hormones. Walking bare foot on the sand massages the feet and all the nerve endings. The colours of the sea and the sky also have a calming effect on our bodies. And finding sea glass is fun. It’s an outdoor treasure hunt. I like to think that the beautiful mermaids leave the glass for me. We all believe in mermaids right?

Sewing: As you know I love to sew. I am making a Buddha bowl for myself and have been making offering bowls out of scraps of fabric. This method is therapeutic as it has a meditative quality to the action. You twist strips of fabric and zig-zag stitch them together. I am a little obsessed with circles and chakras at the moment. Making something of value from something that has no value- a way of creating something new from something you might throw away. I find his very healing. I don’t like waste.

Painting: I have been letting my brushes wander a little to see where they lead me with no fixed outcome, no real vision and with water and paint I have found Yoga Nidra Goddess and a Scarlet Witch. (see pics on the side.) The therapeutic process of creativity is an all round go to when I don’t feel great. Actually that’s not quite true. I started with letting my paintbrush going with the flow and the brush strokes became the Goddess and the witch as I too find it hard to let go of the idea of a ‘point’ to painting. Having realised this I will at some point take a page out of my own book and paint with no fixed outcome. Its hard to give ourselves permission to do this.

Writing: Most mornings three pages. Known as the ‘morning pages’ by Julia Cameron in her renowned book ‘The Artists Way.’ Always a life saver. Releasing monkey mind chitta chatter, Chitta Vritti in Sanskrit. A mind dump. Just writing anything that comes up. If you haven’t read this book it’s a must for finding our creative purpose.

Yoga Practice: I have been going deep into my practice and finding my breath in a flow state pushing myself a little at times not past the ultimate point. My breath moving me into yoga shapes. Yoga practice is a current daily must.

Yoga Nidra and resting: Finding ways to rest when I feel tired especially through Yoga Nidra and a new book I have by Tracee Stanley called ‘Radiant Rest.’ I have never really considered rest a thing to incorporate into my daily practice. Now it’s a necessity. The idea of rest was never an option. What am I teaching our girls? That we have to go full pelt through the day without a rest. (I mean lying down- not watching the telly.) Rest is for me and I will be embracing this idea with my arms wrapped round Yoga Nidra and resting daily. If you have never experienced Yoga Nidra then check it out. It’s beautiful- known as yogic sleep. The last one I completed, I envisioned a beautiful being, bending gently over me giving me a kiss.

And as ever nothing leads to something. Something leads to ‘A thing.’ This thing is a blog post.

If you don’t start you never know what could happen.

That being said…..

One wonderful thing: Despite my grief I held my first AWESOME yoga and creativity workshop online via Zoom. We used our hands to create. We used our bodies to practice yoga shapes. We considered the idea of interoception, the lesser known sense, the internal state of the body. Bringing the inside to the outside through the breath and creativity. Focussed on the solar plexus the wonderful yoga creatives relinquished their love for art plus opened new doors, realising creativity as a potential practice. The workshop brought back memories from the past of ‘doing’ art at school, was a sensory feast, unlocking the power of using our breath and heart, to see what comes out of our finger tips . No necessary outcomes- ‘being’ on paper.

Future Workshops: I am in the process of designing the next workshop with idea of ‘The Summer Of Love’ looking at connection- that thing we have all been missing in areas of our lives- some more than others. Watch this space for dates and see below for the wonderful feedback I received making my heart overwhelmed with joy and gratitude.

Feedback from The wonderful yoga creatives:

‘’I found the workshop environment really warm and welcoming. The pack of materials was really inspiring, and thoughtful, and I was surprised how easily I took to the paper. Meditations to relax us into free drawing and the perfect balance of ideas, things to consider when creating and spaciousness. I didn’t consider myself naturally ‘arty’ but after this workshop I feel really confident to play and express myself through images.’’

‘‘I really enjoyed using yoga and meditation to inspire colours and shapes that we then used to create free flowing art. As I mentioned in the session, I haven’t spent time drawing for over 20 years even though I studied art for my degree. I loved tapping into my creativity again and remembering how much I use to love allowing time for drawing. I feel inspired to dig out my old art materials and have them more to hand so that I continue what you helped me start today.

You are a brilliant yoga teacher – the yoga sequence you took us through was lovely and I totally floated away on the Yoga Nidra. Your voice is so soothing. After a very stressful couple of weeks, the workshop was just what I needed.

Thank you so much and I look forward to taking part in another workshop with you in the future.’’

So stretch out yer neck, step out of that comfort zone and see what magic the world has to offer. Im telling myself as much as I am telling you.

See you next time and thanks for reading.

Cassandra Whitfield31 March 2021